Christmas cards

I love Christmas cards.

I love the tradition of it. The old-fashioned formality in this digital age. The more blogs, cellphones, email, Facebook, and Twitter make the annual Christmas card seem obsolete, the more I love it.

I love receiving them. I love the excitement of a trip to the mailbox in December. I love the pictures, the brag sheets, the holiday postage stamps. I love the connection I feel to loved ones far away. Somehow the physicality of the Christmas card--the fact that a person I love put it into the envelope just for me and now I can hold it and touch it--makes that connection feel stronger. I always keep Christmas cards displayed in a prominent place, a festive reminder of friendship far and wide, and I find myself flipping through them again and again all season long.

Most of all, I love sending Christmas cards. I love the neat stacks of envelopes on my kitchen table, the books of stamps, the names being crossed off my list one by one. I love the feeling of satisfaction when I am finished. But the best part is thinking about each person, my heart swelling with gratitude for every friendship as I write each name. Unlike a blog post or a mass email, I like that I have the opportunity when signing each card to reflect on my relationship with that person, to pause a moment to reminisce in my mind. Love and gratitude and sincere best wishes go into every envelope I address. That is why I love Christmas cards.

But, alas, I am not doing them this year. You can blame Greg. Somehow his absence has sucked the joy out of it for me. Maybe it's because he's not here to help choose the cards or entertain the kids while I disappear with my thin Sharpie and envelopes. It's just not the same without him. We can't even have our annual argument about the address book (which stems from our differing fundamental beliefs about Excel--he thinks it's God's gift to humanity and I think it's the devil's tool to give me a headache). With our family separated, the thought of sending family Christmas cards this year has soured.

The irony, of course, is that this year I am even more grateful for the friendships I have.

To all those people on my husband's stupid Excel spreadsheet: Please know that I love you. I wish you and your family the best. I promise that I am thinking of you this holiday season...I just can't bring myself to send a Christmas card.