Dickens of a Christmas

On Saturday we went to the Dickens of a Christmas festival in a local town square. The streets are decked with holiday cheer, and the shop keepers sport Victorian duds. It was a wonderful way to inaugurate the Christmas season.

The highlight for David and Mary was a ride on Frosty's train.

First they got their bright red tickets.

And then there was nothing to do but wait...
...and wait some more.
Psst...notice how Mary and Grammy are color-coordinated...
All aboard!
What a fun little ride!

My favorite part was the discovery of some wonderful little shops. And the pleasure in crossing a few more things off my Christmas shopping list.

Thank you, Grammy and Grampy, for a fun morning!

Single Sundays

I feel Greg's absence acutely on Sundays. Especially when it comes to church.

To be fair, I am a million times better off on Sundays than other single moms. I have help getting the kids ready and out the door Sunday mornings--which is a good thing since we have church at 8:30. Most importantly, I do not have to wrestle my children alone in sacrament meeting. My mom colors with Mary, my brother Daniel keeps David from running into the aisle, and my dad helps clean up the disaster area that is our pew.

But Sundays are still hard.

The saddest part is that after church, I'm not looking for anyone. I reunite with my children after their classes...and then we leave. In the chaotic, social hub-bub of the halls, I'm not looking for Greg. I don't stand on my tippy toes, trying to see his head among the crowd of suits and ties. Once I have Mary in one hand and David in the other, we march straight to our car. And I feel very alone. Church is a family affair. And herding my kids across the church parking lot without a husband to chase after them makes me keenly aware that our family is not quite whole right now.

Today Mary, David, and I attended tithing settlement--that annual Mormon rite of warm handshakes in the bishop's office. It's something you do as a family, a mom, a dad, and a pile of kids all basking in the bishop's warm smile. I missed Greg so much. It's not that it was difficult to do myself. But sometimes it just feels hard to press on alone. It feels lonely.

Here are a few pictures from our Sunday today:

And now I am going to bed. When I wake up it won't be Sunday anymore. It will be Monday...and I'm not sure that's any better.

Happy Thanksgiving

We hope your Thanksgiving was as good as ours!

Greg's parents graciously hosted us (meaning me, David, Mary, my parents, Tio and Tia) as well some fun longtime family friends of theirs, the D. family. Good company and good food. It doesn't get any better! (Grammy is a PRO when it comes to Thanksgiving dinner, so the meal was quite the treat indeed! Yum!)

This is my parents behind the lovely table. (Check out the turkey pineapple!)

Greg's family has a tradition (started soon after we were married) of recording what you are thankful for on the napkins. It's always fun to see what people wrote in previous years. Here is everyone busy with Sharpies and grateful hearts:

Every year I grow to love Thanksgiving more and more. What a wonderful holiday! And best celebrated with a gaggle of loved ones. The children and I are truly blessed to be surrounded by so many people who love us this year.

P.S. Want to know what I wrote on my napkin?

GREG

alisa '09

P.P.S. What I didn't write is that I miss him so much my heart is breaking to pieces. But this holds true.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic!

Candy Cornucopias

Last night after family home evening we made candy cornucopias. It was easy, fun, and festive.

Here is how you do it. (This is probably the closest thing to a recipe that will ever appear on my blog, so enjoy it. I am just full of non-talents.)

What you need:

1. Small candy (like leftover Halloween candy of the M&Ms, candy corn, or Skittles varieties)
2. Full graham crackers
3. Icing
4. Sugar ice cream cones

What you do:

1. Microwave the sugar cones until soft and you can bend the pointed end up like a cornucopia. (This is actually kind of tricky--more than 30 seconds in my microwave BURNT the cone.)
2. Let the cones cool--they will become stiff again and stay in the cornucopia shape. (It only takes a few seconds for them to cool off.)
3. Use icing to "glue" the cornucopia onto the graham cracker and to "glue" candy inside the cone and spilling out onto the graham cracker. (With my little kids, I did all the icing--and they placed the candy.)

A more healthful alternative: Use peanut butter or soy butter for the glue, and stuff the cornucopia with dried fruit pieces, raisins, and nuts. (As you can see, in our family we went for the candy version!)

(***Julia P. gets the credit for this idea, and kudos to Heidi S. for passing it onto me.)

Twins

I was just about to post some pictures when I realized Alisa has already posted the exact ones. So I will send you there.

And add this picture, which so clearly captures what STINKERS my kids were being at that moment. (But it was really only at that moment. They were quite sweet to the babies all weekend, and missed them when they were gone.)

Alisa is the kind of person who opens her home and her heart and wraps you and your children warmly in her friendship and inspires you to be better.

What wonderful unexpected luck to see Alisa, Lonnie, Max and Maya again before they move across the world! I'm so glad they came to visit!

[AND Alisa and I also have strikingly similar wedding bands. Yes, I think we are twins separated before birth.]

In the clear (I hope!)

Whew! The anxiety is over. The swine flu is still working its way through our church and preschool. But it's been over two weeks since David and Mary got the vaccine, so they should have immunity built up by now. Hooray! We made it!

Since the bizarre state of American parenthood put mothers on the defensive about everything from potty training and plastic to sleep schedules and schooling......

In case you are wondering, no, I was NOT among the crazy people willing to sell their souls to the devil for an H1N1 flu shot. We were in the pediatrician's office for something else entirely, and he mentioned they'd received a shipment of H1N1 vaccinations...and I wasn't going to pass that up!

I am not brainless when it comes to vaccinations. (Though I could probably be a poster child for the CDC, as I often find myself spouting their party line. I would insert a link to their website here, but the site is so lame that it makes you think they deserve to have the whole world revolting against vaccines.) But, like most things with parenting, I go with my gut.

My kids have strong immune systems. Vaccinations don't affect them in the least--they don't even get grouchy or take extra long naps. (Seriously, NOTHING makes my kids take extra long naps!)

I also cannot forget that David was hospitalized for nearly a week with complications from RSV. RSV is a normal childhood illness. But it can turn serious, especially in babies. But David wasn't a small baby--he was a strong, robust, active 20-month-old. A "normal" illness (like the measles, chicken pox, or the flu) can unexpectedly turn serious in a child. I do not want my children in the hospital. It's traumatic for them. (And me!) And complications and infection can arise from being in the hospital. I'm grateful for our hospitals, the wonderful people who staff them, and the modern medicine they provide--but they are definitely places to be avoided.

Despite what the actual statistics may or may not be, the reality I see and feel as a mother is this: The chances of one of my children being hospitalized for complications from the swine flu (or the seasonal flu) is much, much greater than the slim chances of their having an adverse reaction to the vaccine.

I am especially concerned about David because of the scarring on his lungs from that severe case of bronchiolitis (from the RSV). I (as well as the various pediatricians we've had) are concerned that another case of bronchiolitis like that (which is a not uncommon complication to the flu) could lead him to develop asthma. So, for David, we are diligent about seasonal flu vaccines too. A flu shot or a lifetime of asthma? That's not a hard one for me.

So, while I could probably take up part-time work as a spokesperson for the CDC, it's not without thought and some motherly instinct that my kids got their swine flu vaccines. (Okay, okay--and it's nice to have the anxiety gone. My mind creates plenty of other things to feel anxious about!)

[And speaking of poster children for the CDC, I think David would fit the bill, seeing as how he once BEGGED and CRIED and PLEADED for a flu shot!]

Thanksgiving feasts

My first Thanksgiving-themed post this year is going to begin with a big fat WHINE. (How unfitting.) This week was Thanksgiving Feast week at preschool. On Tuesday I got to spend my morning with a bunch of two-year-olds. And my Thursday was interrupted with an insanely chaotic celebration for four-year-olds.

Here is my whine: I pay A LOT of money to have my Tuesday and Thursday mornings free. (Let's be honest: Preschool isn't about the academics or socialization. It's all about ME, ME, ME and my sanity.) So I don't like losing the ONLY me-me-me time I ever get--to spend it with the very people I'm trying to escape. How's that for ungrateful?

BUT, I have to admit, it was all very cute.

I'm thankful the opportunity to see my kids in their school setting, to talk to their teachers, and visit with the other moms. David and Mary were both so excited to have me there.

Here is Mary playing peek-a-boo with a plate:

The feast:
Decorating a cookie:
Mary's whole class, made up almost entirely of little blond boys who worship her:
Here is David's feast:
What a fun party! We also got to celebrate Ms. Lisa's birthday:
David modeling his turkey hat:
A scowling David and his smiling best friend:

Even though I'm behind on stuff this week, and even though I was little irritated and ungrateful, it was worth it. More than worth it! How grateful I am this Thanksgiving to have seen this! (Excuse my shakiness, and look for David in the top left. He's the one who enthusiastically waves to his mom, me, several times.) Yes, that waddle, waddle, waddle makes it all worth it.

Afternoon sleepyheads

My mom watched Mary practically all day today--so I could go to the temple by myself and then run an errand with David after school. (Thanks, Mom!)

When I got home, I found Mary, Grandma Evie, and the dog all sacked out together.

Makes you want to say "Aw," doesn't it?

[By the way, what I said about compensation and the temple still holds true.]

Quick follow-up comment on love

The other day, when I was thinking about love, I meant to say that I was especially struck by the first quote of President Uchtdorf's that I included.

I think we (the pronoun "we" includes me) are so often motivated by pride rather than love. Don't you think?

That's too bad because, as cliche as it may sound, the world would be a much better place if we all acted out of love for others instead of personal pride and selfishness.

Good thing we all have inherited from God a vast capacity for love (as President Uchtdorf noted).

Me

This is a picture of Me.
If I say, "You are cute," Mary will respond, "I'm not cute. I'm me!"

Or if I say, "You're a stinker," Mary will respond, "I'm not a stinker. I'm me!"

Or if I ask, "Are you my sweetie?" the answer is "I'm not a sweetie. I'm me!"

Mary is proud to be Me! So proud, in fact, that if you ask...

"What is your name?"

The answer is, "Me!"

(Me kind of reminds me of You.)

Love

Now I'm thinking about love.

That's because of President Uchtdorf:

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.

****

God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!

For what we love determines what we seek.

What we seek determines what we think and do.

What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.

****

We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love—it is part of our spiritual heritage. . . . Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ.

Another reason I love my husband

Greg asked me to read his statement of purpose for his graduate school applications.

When he called to hear my feedback, I asked,"Do I have to say nice things about it first?"

"No, Alisa, please just get straight to the point."

Another reason to love him: I don't have to say nice things about his writing to cushion the blow of my "constructive criticism."

How liberating for this former middle school/high school/community college English teacher to shed the shackles of "finding something positive to say first."

That man makes my dreams come true.

Te queremos

We had a very happy birthday with "Tia." We are so glad she shared her day with us!

We love you, Ale!

Thinking...the acquisition of spiritual guidance

It's that time of year again. The General Conference edition of The Ensign has reached my mailbox, and so my effort to read, in order, the text of one address each day has begun. This is a semi-annual "effort" that I enjoy immensely. But this time I haven't gotten very far because I am stuck on Elder Scott. I keep going back to reread what he said.

Here are a few of the gems that keep drawing me back to pondering his words:

Throughout the ages, many have obtained guidance helpful to resolve challenges in their lives by following the example of respected individuals who resolved similar problems. Today, world conditions change so rapidly that such a course of action is often not available to us.

Personally, I rejoice in that reality because it creates a condition where we, of necessity, are more dependent upon the Spirit to guide us through the vicissitudes of life. Therefore, we are led to seek personal inspiration in life’s important decisions.

[I find this somewhat frightening, but even more so I think it is liberating and empowering. I can trust in myself and the Lord. This reminds me a bit of what it is like being David's mom. No one has had a kid quite like him before, trust me--especially those who write parenting books--and I have learned to rely first, and sometimes only, on the Spirit and my God-given instincts to guide me. Additionally, Elder Scott seems to describe exactly what it has been like negotiating our life in the military. Never before has life in the Air Force been like it is right now--with an all-volunteer force fighting on multiple fronts for years on end. Even Greg's mentors in the Air Force are quick to acknowledge how different things were when they were captains. Greg and I have learned that we are dependent on the Lord in order to make wise choices, and we must seek to "hear" what the Spirit is telling us to do.]

.....

I am convinced that there is no simple formula or technique that would immediately allow you to master the ability to be guided by the voice of the Spirit. Our Father expects you to learn how to obtain that divine help by exercising faith in Him and His Holy Son, Jesus Christ.

[I guess this means if I see a book titled "Three Simple Steps to Immediately Being Guided By the Spirit" I probably shouldn't waste my money on it. Oh how we are a society that loves simple solve-it-all programs and easy techniques. I guess there are just some things that come only through practice and experience and faith.]

.....

Were you to receive inspired guidance just for the asking, you would become weak and ever more dependent on Them. They know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit.

[So that's why God didn't text me in all caps when I wanted to know what I should do. I have to admit...I have grown a lot as I have struggled to choose the right paths in life. And it's true that I would be even wimpier without having had those experiences.]

.....

The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.

[Hooray for Elder Scott--a new object lesson for seminary teachers across the world to use! And maybe those peppers will wake up their students? It is a good point though. A very, very good point. I have some more thoughts on this point, but I am keeping them in my heart.]

Thinking...

I haven't been blogging the past few days because, well, I have been THINKING--something I don't do much of these days. Since I have actually been THINKING (really, a rarity!), I wonder if I should write some of my THINKING down. But that really might be too much THINKING for this poor ol' out-of-shape mind of mine to handle.

Fire Marshal Academy

Greg was in Texas the whole last week of October. We got to see him on the weekends, and in between he was in beautiful (?) San Angelo doing this.

Happy birthday with Grammy

Grammy was out of town on her birthday. But we love nuttin' better than a good little celebration, so we certainly weren't going to let Grammy get out of a party, though it may have been a bit belated.

As you can see, the evening included making cupcakes, jumping in the leaves, eating cupcakes and frosting and sprinkles galore, and playing the new game David picked out for Grammy.

Happy birthday, Grammy!

And thank you for letting us bring our party to your house.....every weekend.

At the park with The Other Alisa and her babies

Last weekend we drove Greg to Houston. (He flew out of Houston because it maximized the amount of time we could spend together. You better believe I'll put 600 miles on my car to spend three extra hours with my husband!)

Monday morning after we bid our sad farewell, the kids and I headed out to Katy looking for some good company to cheer us up...and good company we found. We stopped by to visit my friend and her twins--and just in the nick of time, as they are preparing to move to NEW ZEALAND after the first of the year. (How cool it that?)

My friend's name is Alisa. Which caused David to remark, "It's weird that there are TWO Alisas on Planet Earth." It is kind of weird. And kind of weird that both of our parents used to live in Danville, California, though neither of us Alisas grew up there. And kind of weird that we both served missions in the Dominican Republic. (Alisa was even one of my teachers in the Missionary Training Center!) And kind of weird that we both like living abroad. And that we were both big Obama supporters in last year's election (and we are indeed faithful, practicing Mormons). And that we are both definitely still adjusting to mothering two small children (though hers both came at once). And that we both currently live in eerily similar suburban Texas communities. It's like we have some kind of cosmic connection that keeps us crossing paths occasionally (even though, unfortunately, our paths have never crossed for very long).

After Alisa whipped up a yummy lunch (we might share a name, but I do not share her ability to prepare wonderful food), we visited a nearby park. On the way there, David informed me that at the park we should divide into two groups:

The boys, Max and David (in David's book, Max might be a baby, but he is sufficiently cool since he has some fun trucks to play with)...

and the girls, Maya and Mary...
David found the babies to be helpful taxi drivers. Here is David climbing on board for a ride to the airport...
Maya checks back on her passenger...
Max and The Other Alisa give David a ride to work...
(By the way, David would call out, "Alisa!" and I would automatically respond, and he would say, "No! The OTHER Alisa." And that is how she became known as The Other Alisa...who, incidentally, David believes is much cooler than Alisa His Mom. I have to agree.)

Everyone had a good time on the swings...
Max and Maya like to ride together...
back...
and forth...
Then Max decided he would rather ride the bumble bee...
And poor Maya was left alone in her swing...
So she insisted that Mary join her...
And the arrangement worked out quite nicely...
What a fun afternoon at the park!
(And it had the effect of knocking my kids out for two of the five hours on our drive home.)

After a bit of freshening up back at the house (there was an incident involving Max and a lot of mud) and another look at the fish in The Other Alisa's backyard (where they have a koi pond, yes, a Koi Pond), we said our good-byes. David started crying real tears as we pulled out of the driveway, saying, "I don't want to leave The Other Alisa. I'm going to miss those babies. I don't want them to move far away!"

I'm going to miss those babies too! I wonder when my path will cross again with The Other Alisa. Unfortunately, I don't see New Zealand in my future. But I can dream, right?

(And at least I'll have this to get my cute baby fix.)